Funny Quotes =D

"Arguing with the moderators is like shaking your fist at God. There's nobody there; and if there is, he's not listening. And if he's listening, all you're doing is pissing him off."


"Confidence is the feeling you sometimes have before you fully understand the situation."


"One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said. 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late."
-Jack Handey



"I want to die sleeping peacefully, - like my grandma; not screaming with horror, - like those, who were as passangers in her car."



"The supreme irony of life is hardly anyone ever gets out of it alive."



"A friend is someone who will help you move; A good friend is someone who will help you move a body."


"Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead."


"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?"


"The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little."


"Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about."